I like being a “Mini Van Mom”

Being the month of November with the holidays quickly approaching I guess I take more time to reflect upon my blessings. The other day I was in such a rush trying to get dinner to a friend who needed help. I spent the day preparing dinner, continuing to put off my kids, which in turn escalated the behaviors that quite frankly nearly put me over the edge. Finally my husband came home and I walked out the door ready for a much needed break. I pulled out of the driveway in our minivan, which was unusually quiet. Why, I wondered, did I miss the voices of my children (when I am typically asking them to please talk quieter). The thought came to me that I like being a “mini van mom”…I appreciate that I have a car full of children, whose laughter far outweighs their screams. In reality I am so grateful for the ability to have children, I am so grateful it is possible for me to stay at home and be with them, even if I don’t tell myself that 100% of the time.

I have heard a quote that goes something like No other success can compensate for failure in the home. I truly believe that my children are the most important things I have to invest my time in right now. But I do find myself thinking, why am I not enjoying this more? Of course I am laden with guilt to even admit that there are some days that I am not enjoying motherhood as much as I should, but I have found comfort in knowing there are other parents out there that feel the same way.

All in all in the short car ride by myself (which really was good for me) I realized there is positively nowhere else I would rather be or nothing I would rather be doing than raising my children. I truly hope they can overcome my imperfections as a mother…because in the end there is no calling I could have that could be more gratifying to me.

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Lindsey Cantwell works long hours as a mother of three enthusiastic children; a 4 year old son (who is in PAIIR preschool), a 3 year old daughter, and a 3 month old son. She has been an avid PAIIR participant since the birth of her oldest son.

Be Kind!

As I brought this topic to my fellow PAIIR parents attention during a parent education day, I found that I was not alone in my feelings that other adults can be very rude with their comments to and about your children in public. I had no idea the can of worms that I was about to unleash at the meeting.

My simple story about another adult "correcting" my child in public was dwarfed in comparison to some of the stories that were revealed from other parents at the meeting. Now, don't get me wrong, if my child is misbehaving, I do not mind a little input from others as we all know that sometimes your child will respond better when the misbehavior is addressed from another adult. The thing that blew me away was how rude this particular adult was in correcting my child.

My daughter is going through a rather embarrassing stage of making little wrinkled up nose faces at children that she does not know. While walking by a table in a restaurant, my daughter proceeded to wrinkle up her nose at another little girl. The adult at the table whom I will assume was mom proceeded to look at my child with disgust and say "be kind" in a rather loud voice.

Now that doesn't really sound like anything that I should get all bent out of shape about. The thing that really burned me was that I was already in the process of correcting my child for her little stink face. As if that was not enough, the mother then turned to her two daughters without acknowledging the fact that I was still standing right next to my daughter at the table and proceeded to tell her two daughters, "That was extremely rude" and proceeded to use my daughter as an example of what rude behavior was.

I was furious. Hello there ma'am. Did you notice that I am still standing at the table with my "rude" daughter by my side? Her children were older than my then 3-year-old daughter, and I am quite sure that they were aware of the definition of rude. However, my child was only 3! She is still learning.

I quietly took my child's hand and left the building feeling angry, humiliated, and due to the fact that the woman never even acknowledged by presence, quite honestly like I was not a good parent. That interaction had deflated my confidence of being a good parent that quickly. I thought about the interaction over and over again. I was mad. Why was I so mad? Is is it that I think my child can never do any wrong? No. Is it that another adult corrected my child in public? No. Was it the way that she "corrected" my child in public telling my child to be kind and then proceeding to voice to her own children while we were still at the table how rude the behavior was? YES!!!

I'm never Johnny on the spot with quick and appropriate comments when someone catches me off guard. I am a processor. Looking back on the situation and sharing the situation with other moms and dads in my group made me realize that my feelings were appropriate for that interaction. I now feel that I would have an appropriate response for the woman. I would have simply asked her, Should we not lead by example?

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Nicole Rathbun is the proud mom to her son, a 6-year old kindergartner, and her daughter, a 4-year old preschooler. She is a big fan of the PAIIR preschool program and was honored to be asked to join the PAIIR advisory board this year.

Kindergarten

I thought when I was little, it took forever for a week to go by, why is it now I can’t seem to slow down even for a minute to plan for the next week?

Last year my boys were in preschool and Kindergarten seemed so many miles away. We attended PAIIR's Kick off to Kindergarten open house in September and it seemed light years away before they would attend.

I didn’t think I had many questions about school in Rochester, I work for the PAIIR program so what did I need to ask? Well I tell you…Kick off to Kindergarten helps parents understand what choices there are in Rochester. There are many different schools. I met the school representative for my neighborhood school, talked to transportation about the school bus and if we could ride; made sure the district had the correct information on my children. I then felt better about Kindergarten.

Now several weeks into Kindergarten my boys are thriving, they wake up and jump into their clothes and run for the table to eat breakfast. How are the other new Kindergarteners (and parents) out there doing?

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Amy Ward has lived in Rochester for the past 3 year and has two wonderful sons in kindergarten. She currently works for PAIIR as a Team Coordinator.

Extraordinary Newborns

The first months of baby’s life parents generally get the same questions about their babies: How old is he? How much does she weigh?

If you’re like me, you can answer the first question (within a week or two) but the second question often gets a shrug. Most people don’t own an infant scale and if baby is healthy there is usually no need to go to the doctor every month.

Also, as a first-time parent, you often have many questions but don’t have the time to commit to a weekly class at PAIIR. Perhaps you’d think by the time you’ve had three children you wouldn’t have any questions, but my third baby is almost 4 months old already (as I write this) and I still have questions. Children are definitely individuals right from the womb.

PAIIR offers a once-per-month drop-in class for parents of babies from birth to 6 months of age. It’s a great way to get your questions answered without having to commit to a class.

I took my baby to the drop-in in September, mostly because I was wondering how much she weighed. She’s much smaller than my other two children were at her age, and I wanted to see how much (or how little) she actually weighed.

I arrived right at 1 o’clock, at the start of the drop-in period. I already knew the PAIIR facilitator who was there to help answer questions, and I was introduced to the public health nurse who was on hand to weigh the babies and to answer health-related questions as well.

Soon after I started to get my baby undressed to her diaper to be weighed, more moms arrived with their infants. Once all the babies had been weighed (with the weights recorded on papers with the date and their names so we didn’t have to try to remember!) we sat down to chat.

Since it was a drop-in class, we were encouraged to stay or leave, as we needed to attend to our babies, or for whatever reason. We introduced our babies and ourselves and shared the ages of our babies. The ages at this session ranged from 7 weeks to almost 4 months.

We shared stories of how our first weeks with our babies had been going and each asked our questions that ranged from “is my baby gaining enough weight” to “is it okay to take my baby on an airplane when she’s this young.”

Before our time was up, most of the babies had nursed or drank a bottle and were sleeping. Minds had been eased, suggestions had been offered and resources had been discovered.

I’m planning to attend next month too. I want to see how much weight my baby gains in the next four weeks, and I’m sure I’ll have new questions.

Extraordinary Newborn is offered the third Wednesday of each month (10/15, 11/19, 12/17) at Northrop Education Center (201 8th Street NW) from 1-2:30 p.m. No registration is required and there is no fee to attend.

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Heather is mom to three children: a 6-year-old daughter, a 4-year-old son and an almost 4-month-old daughter. She spends much of her days saying "uh huh" and "oh yeah?" to her son, who loves to talk.

Get Cooking!

It's here!! The new PAIIR and School Readiness Cookbook has arrived and is available for purchase from the PAIIR office (201 8th Street NW).

I had one of the first edition of PAIIR's cookbooks and pulled it out whenever I was tired of making the same old thing for supper. I knew that the recipes in that cookbook were favorites of the parents who had contributed them, so I was confident they'd be great recipes. I was never disappointed.

This new cookbook is larger. More recipes! It still has the same spiral binding so that the book lays flat on the counter and won't flip itself shut while you're trying to measure out ingredients. It also has the helpful household hints and tips and conversion charts that I found so handy in the previous edition.

At $12, it's a great deal. They make great gifts too.

**Heather

No thanks, well, maybe, yes

Every person has a temperament. The qualities that make up our temperament mingle in unique ways and make each of us different and interesting. It is also what makes living with other people so difficult at times.

I never gave temperament much thought until my first child came along. She was a demanding infant, often crying until I hoisted her into my arms. Many times she would continue her tirade unless I was in constant motion while holding her in my arms. I attempted to use a baby sling to give my arms some relief and to try to get a few things accomplished around the house, but the sling wasn’t good enough. She wanted actual contact with Mom’s arms around her, holding her, or she would let me know LOUDLY about her unhappiness.

Once she got old enough to communicate in methods other than screaming at me, it became quite clear that she was an extremely social being who thrived on human contact – constant human contact. This, in retrospect, was present even at her birth.

My oldest daughter’s outgoing and social nature was (and, at times, still is) overwhelming to me as a new mother. I never have been the life of the party and I’d given birth to a social butterfly. Our needs were in direct conflict. She craved adventure while I’d just as soon stay home and relax in the relative quiet.

In those first months and years we conditioned one another to adapt to the other’s preferences. My daughter would tolerate staying home one day, but the next (even as young as 14 months) she would grab her coat, bring it to me and announce “go!” We’d then hit the park or the stores for some outside stimulation.

When my son came along, I was still unprepared for a child with a different temperament than his sister. I’d adapted, and in truth, come to enjoy getting out a little more often than I would have previously. If I’m to be perfectly honest, my son is a lot like his mother. He prefers to stay a little off from the main action until he gets more comfortable with the people and the surroundings.

Recently I realized that my son has another very classic reaction to things that is clearly related to his temperament. If you ask him something—anything—if he wants to do something fun, go somewhere, eat something, what have you, he will invariably answer in the negative.

Do you want to go outside and play? No.

Do you want to go to the store and buy a new toy? No.

(Do you want a Popsicle? Yes. This is one of the few exceptions.)

Moments later, if you take him at his word and start to put your shoes away because he’s said he doesn’t want to go play at the park, he will fall apart in despair because he does, actually, want to go outside once he’s had a chance to think about it.

I’ll admit when I’d heard the temperament trait “negative first reaction” I was a bit skeptical that there were people who always reacted that way. Now I see that it is not only possible, but also my son is a textbook example.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine called me and asked if I wanted to join her in taking our kids to a local pool.

No, I don’t think so, I heard myself respond without thinking. Once I’d pressed the button to hang up the phone I was already having second thoughts. Maybe we should go swimming. It wouldn’t be that difficult to get us all there. The older two would have a blast.

Then it occurred to me that I, too, have a negative first reaction. So sometimes the temperament doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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PAIIR has an assessment tool that you can use to explore your family’s temperaments. Contact the PAIIR office if you’d like a copy mailed to you.

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Heather is mom to three children (6 years, 4 years, and 3 months).

I am a Gramma!

Being a gramma is the best and my grandbaby is adorable! So far, this could be written by any of your mothers! Isn't it wonderful that grammas feel that way? Grammas just know to ask other grammas to see their brag book. After 3 months, I don't even have one yet. My daughter in Rochester asks for the pictures I print or I put the updated ones in my photo coasters. I am very proud of the fact that I figured out how to put the pictures on my digital photo keychain--all by myself! What a technological genius I am, my granddaughter, Adeline, will someday say. :)

Thoughts on being a Gramma!
1. I forgot how much work a newborn is. I told my daughter--"babies just eat and sleep." Well, getting little Addie to sleep is a trick in itself. If my daughter hadn't discovered the Moby Wrap, this baby would be identified as the 'colicky' one. Being claustrophobic, I have resisted getting bound by 4 yards of material to wrap this baby. She falls asleep as soon as you bounce on an exercise ball with her snuggled in the Moby Wrap.
2. I am amazed how much my daughter knows. All I had was a book by Dr. Spock. (PAIIR was in its infancy itself)
3. Whenever I visit the beautiful children's section of the Rochester library, I tell myself--don't buy another book!
4. I look at her darling baby clothes and cringe when I think about the type of clothes my babies wore. (I won't even mention what our maternity clothes looked like.)
5. I oscillate between thinking she has too many toys and feeling guilty mine only had some rummage sale baby toys.
6. The tide has turned and I now listen to my daughter's advice. Pedestrians have the right away in Berkeley, where she currently lives. I was told to NEVER start across the street with the stroller until I had made eye contact with the driver, so I knew he saw me. This was actually helpful and made me feel safer, too. (Of course figuring out the car seat and stroller system was another challenge.)
7. I am terribly jealous of any gramma that has a grandbaby less than 5 hours away. Mine is moving to Ann Arbor, but that very large Lake Michigan will still make it a 10 hour trip. I am so thankful for digital cameras and video clips on U-tube.

Let me know how you keep in touch with your child's grandparents. It's a new and wonderful experience for me. What have you appreciated most about grandparents? What is irritating? I'm listening!

Linda Munson
New gramma and newly retired parent educator after 25 years at PAIIR.

This is MY house

In my quest for a semi-clean and orderly house, I have been going fromroom to room to see what I need to pick up and what needs to be givenaway, thrown away, etc. One can definitely tell that we have small children in this house! You know you have small children in the house when:

(1) There are multiple wipes boxes placed carefully and strategically around the house.
(2) My cookbook cupboard is full of two different sizes of diapers.
(3) The living room looks like a daycare center.
(4) At least 60% of the household movies are rated G.
(5) The cupboards and refrigerator MUST have some sort of cracker, fruit snack, cookie, Go-Gurt and juice in them.
(6) There is a diaper genie by the back door that always seems to befull.
(7) My lovely expensive coffee table has knicks all over the top from Matchbox cars. Underneath the table, we have hidden puzzles, blocks, and other toys.
(8) The bathrooms have kid hand soap, plastic bathroom stools, and sometimes a half-unrolled toilet paper roll.
(9) At any given moment, you can find food bits under the dining room table: you name it-- raisins, cut up hot dogs or grapes, etc.
(10) Sometimes, if you are REALLY lucky, there is a sippy cup underneath some piece of furniture that is at least 2 days old.

Gotta love it! Some people may think that I am complaining right now. Sure, my house always seems messy despite the constant effort to be organized. Sure,you may get a whiff of wet diaper when you walk in the back door. (Thank goodness for room spray!) But, I have to sit back and remind myself that someday, I'll miss having small children in the house. It is already going by so quickly.


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Kara is the mother of 3 children: a daughter who is 6, a son who is 3, and a daughter who is 2. She is a self-proclaimed PAIIR "junkie" and her kids have always enjoyed the programs too!

Fire Safety and Young Families

I’ll be honest, any time I hear about a house fire, especially if there are fatalities, I worry about what we’d do if a fire started in our home. I always think that I know all the fire safety recommendations, but don’t know exactly how to apply the “rules” to my family and my home.

I’ve heard conflicting advice from other parents. I’ve heard the general home escape plans. Some of the advice simply doesn’t work if you have young children and infants.

So, as I’m awaiting the birth of my third child, I thought I’d go to someone who could actually give me practical advice about fire safety. He’s a firefighter and a dad, and he happens to be someone I went to high school with so he was obligated to help. Just kidding. He’d help anyone.

I asked Chad Rathbun, who is a firefighter in Minneapolis at Fire Station number one, a series of questions that I had about keeping my kids safe regarding fires.

Most people probably know that they should have a working smoke detector in their homes, but how many smoke detectors do we really need? In my home, we have one in each of our children’s bedrooms and one in the kitchen. Chad recommends that we place one in every bedroom (not just our kids’!), in the kitchen (where most fires start), one on each level of the home, and one in the hallway outside your bedrooms. Keep in mind that if anyone is sleeping in your basement you need to have egress windows for safety.

Similarly, we should all have at least one fire extinguisher in our home. Since most fires start in the kitchen, that might be the best place to keep it if you have only one. But it isn’t enough to just buy the fire extinguisher and leave it sitting in your kitchen for years (hopefully) unused. You need to perform some maintenance even on the small home fire extinguishers. If fire extinguishers sit unused in one position for years, the chemicals inside can lump together and become useless. To prevent this, we should actually spin our fire extinguishers. Hey, we could even have our kids do it for us. Just turn the extinguisher on its side and spin it or roll it around a little. Once a month, even once every six months (perhaps when we’re changing the batteries in our smoke detectors) should keep our extinguishers clump-free.

When we were in grade school we were taught to have a fire escape plan. These plans, while a great idea for families with older children, are not practical for those with young children. I asked Chad what I could have taught my kids to do when they were too little to open doors and get themselves out of the house.

Here’s what Chad said: Tell them to stay low to the ground and stay where they are. Do NOT hide…don’t go under the bed, or into their closet or anywhere else they might think to go. Introduce them to firefighters and let them see them dressed in their full gear. Let them know that the firefighters are there to help. Take them to a fire station. See if they can try out the stuff. If it’s familiar, they’ll be less scared when they need to rely on a firefighter to save them.

“Just telling them not to hide, that’s a big thing. When there’s smoke in the house you can’t see your hand in front of your face and if the kids are hiding it’s near impossible to find them. It can be pretty chaotic.”

“It’s pretty scary with all of our stuff on, but if they’ve seen it before they might be less scared. We have had kids run away from us before because they’re scared of these people coming in looking like monsters and carrying axes and stuff,” Chad explains.

You can still construct an escape plan and talk with your child about it, and practice it. But know that your child will be at least as scared as you are in a fire, so the best thing to tell them might be Chad’s advice: “If you’re scared, just stay where you are and we’ll come and get you.”

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Heather is mom to (almost) 3 children: a 5-year-old daughter, a 3-year-old son and a baby who will be born this week! She's been attending PAIIR classes since her daughter was just weeks old and continues to pester the great teachers at PAIIR.

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Take time for Reading

Reading. I always knew I was supposed to do it with my children. But, when they were babies, it felt so silly! Then, when my first was two, she would not sit for one anyway!! I also got very frustrated when she was three and asked questions while I was trying to finish the “task” of reading. I learned later, it is not important to finish a certain number of books but to read a certain amount of time. My 3-year-old had it right! Interactive reading was much more important than getting through the book! Some tips for making reading rewarding are:

· Read everywhere! Enjoy all different types of reading materials. Signs at the grocery store, labels, street signs, maps, in a book, newspaper, etc.
· Follow the cues and signals the child gives you. A little one may only be able to sit a few minutes. The important thing is that it is fun and rewarding. So, follow your child’s lead.
· Make reading interactive Babies – Where is the cow? There it is! The cow says mooo!” Older kids - ask questions or comment as you read, “What happened so far in book?”, “What is she feeling?” “She looks happy!” Point to the words and encourage your child to point to pictures and words as you read.
· Set aside reading time each day and fill that time. Build into a routine as a reward. For example, before bed, have child get on pajamas, brush teeth, and then read a book just before bed. If the child will not brush, you can say, “When you finish brushing, then we will read a book!” and they will be more likely to want to cooperate. It is simply the high-quality experience whether spent on one page or reading the whole book.

Don’t forget to have fun too! Add gestures, facial expressions, and actions to a picture or event in the story. You can even spontaneously interject songs in the middle of the book or read the words to a musical tune.

What are some of the challenges you have run into with reading to young children? Do you have other ideas for making reading fun and rewarding for both parent and adult?

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Excerpt from the May/June Rochester Women article, Extra Extra, Read All About It! available May 1.
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Raelene Ostberg is a PAIIR Parent Educator and Business Liaison with the Rochester Area Foundation. She is a working mother invested in bringing helpful information to working parents in the Rochester area.

7 Ideas for Parenting

How many times have you said to yourself, “If only I had known before what I know now.” After surviving a challenging situation with my son when he was little I often thought to myself, “I wish I had handled that situation better…” or “Next time I will plan ahead and do things differently…” or “Other parents surely know how to do a better job of this…” So with the wisdom of hindsight I am going to share some basic ideas about parenting I have learned from listening to other parents- I sure wish I had known these things 23 years ago!

1. Figure out the difference between what your child wants and what they need.

Children may want everything, but their needs are few.

2. Put a framework around your week.

Everyone functions best with a schedule or routine.

3. Your child won’t always listen to you but they will always be watching you.

Pay attention to how you spend your time and money cause that’s what your kids will be paying attention to.

4. Work on yourself; your self-control, your self-care and your self-respect.

This is self-explanatory.

5. Love is largely an act of persistence.

Show up for your kids’ activities; make sure they keep their commitments; and love them when they are least lovable.

6. Decide what you want to teach your child.

If the Minnesota Vikings don’t play a game without a plan, why are you raising kids without one?

7. In order for your child to take a risk, you have to be willing to take one.

Teach kids about the consequences of making their own choices early while the risks are low. Better to risk that your 3-year-old will dress himself in an outrageous outfit; that your 3rd grader may get a poor grade if you don’t remind him to do his homework -than to start teaching about consequences when your 16-year-old wants to start borrowing the car.


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Linda Thomas is a parent educator at PAIIR and is the parent of a soon-to-be 23-year-old son. She and her husband Jack live in the country with 3 cats. They love chocolate and their son but not in that order.

Play things

I think back over all of the birthdays and holidays celebrated at our house. In my daughter’s 5 years there have been several occasions that a toy was given to her to commemorate an occasion or her accomplishments. Some of those toys end up being put aside within a few days of receiving them. Others aren’t even that lucky. The unlucky toys are tossed aside the same day they are opened. But then, there are those charmed toys that never seem to lose their luster. They are played with day in and day out, put aside for a tiny rest and then picked up again to continue where the play left off.

All of this got me thinking about what qualifies a toy as “good”. As a parent I want my “toy dollars” to be used well, not thrown aside before the birthday candles are blown out. As a parent educator I want toys that will help my daughter work on new skills, think about the world in new ways, and encourage creativity and independence. That is asking quite a lot from a block of wood or a hunk of molded plastic.

The top 4 things that I look for in toys are…

1. Versatility- Toys that are created for one, unique purpose are often played with in that one-way. I want toys that encourage my daughter to think of as many ways to play with it as possible. A wooden block can be a sander, cell phone, couch, or a loaf of bread. Toys do not need to be purchased to be fun. Give your child a cardboard box and see how much fun they can have with it.
2. Sparks Creativity- Toys that help a child think outside the box not only allow creativity but also allow play to go in many different directions. Open-ended toys encourage children to find how they want to play with a toy. Then you can show them several other ideas when playing together.
3. Educational- When I talk about educational toys I don’t mean toys that teach your child to read or count. Rather, I am talking about the type of toys that a child plays with and “accidentally learns” something. Role-playing in the kitchen teaches a child that dumping a teapot full of water causes a huge spill, while gently tipping it will not.
4. Independent Play- I also like to find toys that allow my daughter to play independently. Not all toys are going to meet this measure, but those that do give children a chance to make decisions, to be creative with their play, workout problems, and build their confidence. On top of all of this, independent play gives children the down time that they need in between classes, play dates and gym time.

Play is a child’s work. It is through play that children learn about the environment they live in, social relationships, laws of physics, expectations, and new skills. We are there to help give them good tools to play with. So there you have my top 4 criteria for toys, what is important to you?

Diane H.
PAIIR Parent Educator

Resolute

My kids are giggling uncontrollably and tossing a homemade beanbag back and forth. Their smiles are wide, their laughter infecting one another, egging them on.

I hear myself, tense, angry even, telling them to stop. Stop. STOP!

Their faces fall. The fun is over.

Why do I feel compelled to stop the silliness? I remember the mantra when my daughter was just two years old: Pick your battles. Was this beanbag game really a battle I needed to start? Probably not. They were being kids, playing a game . . . enjoying life.

I find it is always when my grown-up worries begin to overwhelm me that I try to stifle my children more. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Do I really want to add controlling everything my kids do to my long list of things to do today?

Pick your battles. Let your kids be kids.

My tone of voice often is cranky when I speak to my children. It doesn’t matter that I am tired. If I want my kids to speak to me pleasantly, I need to speak to them pleasantly.

I find myself irritated when my children ask me for more toys, yet I am the one who has given them much of what they have. I have taught them that if they are good at the store, mommy will buy them something. They learned the lessons I taught them. It is clearly my issue.

I realize that most of the discipline problems that I have with my children originate with me.

I try techniques, suggestions, but then abandon them even if they are successful. They take time and I am impatient.

But now, while my children are still young, is the time that I need to put forth that effort. The time is now, while my children’s - and my - mistakes are small and result in, at most, a minor inconvenience.

So 2008 becomes my year to be a better parent . . . a more patient parent.

I resolve to pick my battles more wisely and let my kids have fun even when I’m stressed or tired.

I resolve to speak to my children in a respectful and pleasant voice.

I resolve to stop buying my kids something every time I go into a store.

I resolve to stick with the discipline that works, even though it takes time and effort. (To help me with this I have enrolled in PAIIR’s Love and Logic workshop.)

I resolve to feel better about myself as a parent.

What are your parenting resolutions?

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Heather is mom to 2 children, a daughter who is 5 and a son who is 3. She's been attending PAIIR classes since her first child was 3 months old. She's currently in the process of growing another child so she can continue to attend PAIIR classes until 2013.