I like being a “Mini Van Mom”

Being the month of November with the holidays quickly approaching I guess I take more time to reflect upon my blessings. The other day I was in such a rush trying to get dinner to a friend who needed help. I spent the day preparing dinner, continuing to put off my kids, which in turn escalated the behaviors that quite frankly nearly put me over the edge. Finally my husband came home and I walked out the door ready for a much needed break. I pulled out of the driveway in our minivan, which was unusually quiet. Why, I wondered, did I miss the voices of my children (when I am typically asking them to please talk quieter). The thought came to me that I like being a “mini van mom”…I appreciate that I have a car full of children, whose laughter far outweighs their screams. In reality I am so grateful for the ability to have children, I am so grateful it is possible for me to stay at home and be with them, even if I don’t tell myself that 100% of the time.

I have heard a quote that goes something like No other success can compensate for failure in the home. I truly believe that my children are the most important things I have to invest my time in right now. But I do find myself thinking, why am I not enjoying this more? Of course I am laden with guilt to even admit that there are some days that I am not enjoying motherhood as much as I should, but I have found comfort in knowing there are other parents out there that feel the same way.

All in all in the short car ride by myself (which really was good for me) I realized there is positively nowhere else I would rather be or nothing I would rather be doing than raising my children. I truly hope they can overcome my imperfections as a mother…because in the end there is no calling I could have that could be more gratifying to me.

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Lindsey Cantwell works long hours as a mother of three enthusiastic children; a 4 year old son (who is in PAIIR preschool), a 3 year old daughter, and a 3 month old son. She has been an avid PAIIR participant since the birth of her oldest son.