The New Normal

Today, I have officially been a mom of three for one whole year. We all survived together, in this too-small-for-us-now house, in the almost-too-small-for-us car, in my larger-than-I-ever-dreamed heart.

Midway through my pregnancy with D I started to second-guess the wisdom of having another child. My other two children were unruly and hard to manage. They were sensing the change that was coming in our lives, and while they looked forward to having a baby sister they also (I think) resented the sort-of implied knowledge that the two of them were not enough.

But the thing that kids don't (and can't) understand is that a mother wants for more children precisely because the ones she already has take her breath away. It is the wonder of knowing these perfect beings (perfect not in deed but perfect for that mother, their mother) and watching them develop and emerge from the shadow of that mother that makes her want to see the process continue anew; and to discover what new ways the process can unfold.

When the baby was born last May, my other two children were in love with her. She was little, she slept a lot, she rarely cried and most importantly...she didn't move. It was a lovely babymoon until about 6 months into her life when she started to crawl. Now she can get into their things and they don't much care for it. Of course all she has to do is smile her big, dimpled, still toothless smile and they turn back into puddles of submission. Anything the baby wants, she can usually get because they don't like to see or hear her crying.

I'm fairly certain this only works when the baby is at least 3 years younger than her siblings. It definitely didn't work that way with M and K and there are only 2 years and 7 days between them...although M did do her fair share of doting on K as well.

The bleary-eyed days of having a newborn are now behind me. My youngest baby is one today and I am looking forward to seeing how we will all continue to fit together, this family of mine. Each day D will show us more and more of her personality, her preferences, her foibles and we will all adapt just a little to make room for this new normal.

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Heather is mom to three, an almost 7-year-old daughter M, an almost 5-year-old son K, and Baby D who is 1 today. Sob!