As family traditions go Halloween is one “holiday” that lacked traditions for my family. I am working to change that. No, Halloween isn’t my favorite holiday, however I do recognize it as a time to create great memories with my child and in the future allow my child to dream, pretend, be silly, and enjoy himself.

In the midst of all this I am left thinking about what to let my child be for Halloween. He is a mere 7 months old yet I feel somehow like I am making a statement with his costume. I have decided my son is going to be a caterpillar for Halloween. After all, why not have him dress up as a character from a book? The Very Hungry Caterpillar is one of my favorites, and if you’ve seen my son you know “very hungry” goes right along with his personality. Another reason I chose this costume is because it is non-violent. I believe there is enough violence in the world and children are exposed to too many violent acts as youngsters as it is. For kids, Halloween should be about the magic of pretending, the excitement of putting on a costume and parading around town, not about violence, gore, and death. What non-violent costume will your child be wearing this year?

Jen is the mother to a 6 month old son who has started rolling and creeping. She is un-decorating the house to accommodate his curiosity for all things “off limits”.

Grand Adventures with Dad

After months of "perfection" the baby moon is over. I spent the first 5 months of my son's little life at home doting over him, doing anything and everything for him. My husband looked on as I "taught" him all about changing diapers, feeding, and the importance of reading books everyday to our precious little one. I was after all a trained professional; I teach people about children everyday so my husband trusted every word of what I said... Until I went back to work.

A month ago I returned to the workforce. Albeit, only two nights a week however after 5 months of being at home, two nights a week has been a big deal for me and for my family. The first few nights I would call when I got a chance, "just checking in". My husband would reassure me that everything was alright and I would secretly, anxiously await the end of my class so that I could return home and snuggle my son.

The first weeks were chaotic to say the least. I would return to a house that looked like a tornado had hit-toys, books, diapers both clean and dirty, strewn everywhere- to find my husband and son snuggled up on the couch watching TV. Other nights I waltzed in and my son would still be awake (past his strictly enforced scheduled bed time) jumping happily in his jumper. Once my husband poured milk all over the couch and again all over the floor in a hurried attempt to get a bottle ready for a starved little guy. Each afternoon I dreaded getting ready for work. I feared what I would come home to, and wondered if daddy was reading like he was supposed to and if my son was "alright" while I was gone. Guilt was setting in.

Last night my husband revealed to me that he doesn't believe he has the mother's intuition I have. I reassured him that he always did what was best for he and our son and that so far everything has gone great. Many times in my life I have given this speech to parents much in need of a confidence booster. This time was different. As I recited the phrase, "It might be different than when I am home but..." I paused. It turns out my husband's need for a pick me up was just what I needed to realize that while I am away our son is in the midst of grand adventure with his dad. I am no longer rushing home. No longer fearing what I might find nor annoyed at the tornado I find when I arrive. This week I am taking my time after class, I may even stop somewhere on the way home.

Jen is the mother of a 6-month-old boy and is also a PAIIR Educator.

Observations from a Dad

Somehow, I find myself writing a blog on parenting and after wondering how I got into this mess, I started contemplating what I would write about. I am after all, the Dad. What could I, the Dad have to say on a blog that would provide insight into the world of parenting? To many Dads parenting is a part time job, something we do when we get home from work, or on the weekend when we get done golfing, fishing, or fixing the bathroom shower. We leave the hard stuff to Mom. They figure it out, and tell us what to do and we get it done – usually with duct tape, the kitchen destroyed and pizza delivery involved.

It is easy to take a light-hearted approach to fatherhood and being a Dad. After all, when the kid starts playing football for the NFL – who does he yell “Hi” to: MOM! I sometimes think that as Dads, we get lost in the whole process starting at pregnancy, continuing through the birth and never really recover. The baby showers, the birth, everyone cooing over the baby, through it all we are standing in the corner learning our place in the process; do as asked or this tiny little being will scream for Mom and we will not be trusted to touch the baby again. A friend of mine once commented that he didn’t know what to do with his kids until they were in grade school! I personally found that statement to be incredibly sad for both him and his kids. I think of all the memories I would not have if I didn’t interact with them for the first five years of their lives. I grew up on a farm with a large family; sadly, I don’t remember much about my Dad until I was old enough to start doing chores with him in the barn at age nine or so. I vowed that would not be the case with my kids.

Parenting takes active involvement from both parents. As Dads, don’t stand in the corner and wait to be told. Read the books, ask questions, and be involved. Have conversations about discipline, food and potty training. And most of all, take every moment you can. In business, we often talk about return on investment. In this case, the investment I make every day in time for my kids pays back immediately, and the payback is priceless. We learn about each other, we laugh, we talk and most of all we engage. As they get older, we will continue to find hobbies and activities that we can all enjoy together. And when I have to fix that bathroom shower, I hope one of them is standing by with the duct tape while the other orders a pizza.

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Tim is the father of two kids, an 11 yr old daughter and 13-month-old son. He and his wife recently moved from Rochester to Minneapolis and miss the community and the friends.